I look at my hands that stain with warm, watery blood. I taste my mouth going stale. The ringing in my ears leave a throbbing sensation. I rub my fingers on my palm, feeling the smooth palm of my skin become rubber in an instant. I sniff the air that mixes with metal and the sense of regret. I look down at my shame.
The body of the man I love is down with his arm that outreaches. Blood keeps increasing its circumference, making it to the hardwood floor. I step back as I breathe heavily to the thoughts of “what did you do?” and “this is what you want, right?” I shake my head as my vision blurs. I keep my head up as I walk to the sink, wash my hands, and go to the next room where our bed is. I sink into it and immediately doze off.
I hear a chirp from out my window as I open my eyes the next morning. I lay in bed for a moment as the sun rays shine on my black shirt. I get up and slowly walk into the kitchen. The first thing I notice is his body still laying on the carpet. My eyes droop as I make my way to the sink and bring my hands to the warm water.
When I turn off the faucet, the lingering pain in my stomach suddenly churns and something jolted up towards my esophagus. I place my hand over my mouth and ran to the trash can. I puke about a liter of green vomit. I stand up straight as I close the lid, wiping the residue off my mouth. I turn around and see the grandfather clock that Kevin got for us showing the time, 9:33. This is the clock that was featured in his favorite play. After that, he saw a replica and gifted it for us on one fateful Friday.
I walk to the calendar located near the front door. It’s filled with X’s with one O on the 26th titled “anniversary”. I gulped.
I turn around and stare at the brown curtain decorated with painted green leaves. It’s currently closing the biggest window of our place and the sun rays heightened its beauty.
I sit down on the armchair and rest my chin on my fist. I look down at the body one last time, its stillness lingering in my mind. I close my eyes and rub my forehead thinking of the possible ways of getting rid of this body, including the blood and possibly a new carpet.
That was when the doorbell rang, and a jolt of electricity rushed through the veins of my heart. The outer ridges of my vision darken as I rub my forehead faster. I open my eyes and got up. I touch the doorknob and a vision flashed before my eyes. This blinding yellow light echoed “comfort”.
I shake my head and try the knob again. I turn it and open the door, revealing a plump balding man wearing a mailman uniform. He was holding a medium-sized box. His baby blue eyes and his precious smile greeted me, and I wave.
“Good to see you,” he said as he lifted the package higher, “I got this box for you.”
“Oh, thank you,” I say as I outstretch my arms. He puts the package into them.
“Well, bye,” I say as I step back.
“Wait!” he says, “Doesn’t this house belong to Kevin?”
“Yes,” I say with an alarmed expression, “Why?”
“He walked with me a week ago saying he lives in this house,” he says, “May I say ‘hi’ to him? Is he inside.” He walks closer to me and I block him.
“He’s still sleeping.” I say.
“Well, tell him I stopped by,” he said. Then he narrowed his eyes at me while tilting his head.
“Hey, are you okay? Your eyes are sunken,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said, “I’m just… not feeling in the best of spirits right now.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I raise an eyebrow and say “I did something that I wasn’t supposed to do, and now I regret it because I know it can’t be undone.”
“What did you do?” he asked as he stared at me intently.
“I… uh… spilled coffee on my boss. He threatened to fire me,” I said.
The mailman sighed as he dropped his head and said, “Maybe your boss misunderstood you. You didn’t mean to do that to him, and he took it too far. Maybe if you talk to him about it, he’ll give you a chance. It’s ever too late to change, and as soon as you know it, he might apologize to you for overreacting. Does that sound good?”
I nod with a huge smile on my face and say “yes”.
“Well, go inside so you could open that baby up. Have a good day,” he said.
“Have a good day, sir,” I say as we both wave and he trotted towards the next house. I move back inside and walk to the kitchen area. I set the package down and looked at it, feeling as if the boosted energy I gained immediately escaped out of my ears as settle in the house again.
I search the box, thinking that I didn’t order anything online and neither did Kevin. The package had the usual stickers with one unusual name, Natalie Skaar.
I look up and raise an eyebrow at that name. My eyes move blantantly as I search that name in my memories. They move around all jumbled up in my brain, coming across the movies, the skate park, and the amusement festival. That’s when I see this woman. Natalie Skaar. Miss Skaar.
I quickly grabbed a knife from the cupboards and tore open the table. I opened all lids and dug through the packing peanuts. I touched an unfamiliar object among those peanuts and lifted it. It was a packaged purple lava lamp with a note attached to it. I removed it from the package and it read:
“See you soon. – Natalie.”
My hand started to shake and I look at the lava lamp. I set the note down and search for an outlet to plug this thing in. Then, I set the lamp on the side table and watch thing in it move.
I nestle to my knees and rest my elbow on the table. It moves up and down and I can’t help the fact that this is describing my life right now. I sigh.
Near early evening, I heard no signs of Skaar, meaning she must not be coming tonight. I pace back and forth pondering where to put this body. I look over at it and noticed his pale skin color still intact. The outer corners of my vision darken again and I close my eyes while holding my head together.
For a few seconds, it dies down and I release my head. I look around with narrow eyes at where the cleaning supplies are. I walk towards the kitchen and look through the cabinets and cupboards. I came out with three cleaning rags and a pair of yellow gloves. I search the pantry and uncover the mop and bucket. I fill it with hot water, fill it with soap, and make my way to the living area where the blood must’ve dried up by now.
I hold the mop and thrust it into the bucket. I mop as hard as I can splashing every crevice with water. I scrub the difficult areas with a sponge for nobody to suspect. I also clean the carpet, leaving a huge red stain that probably could pass for spilt wine.
I proceed to walk around the living area to Kevin’s body. I pick up his clothed feet and pull it towards the stairs. I show no mercy as I pull as hard as I can, bumping his head along every stair.
I end up placing him under our bed and went back to the stairs, seeing that I’ve made an even bigger mess. A large trail of blood appeared on all steps which took me a while to clean.
It was the late evening and I decided to clean the whole floor to be safer. As I was mopping near the grandfather clock, I push the wire from the lamp too far and the lamp tipped over and shattered. I stare at the interesting mess and dropped the mop.
I walked closer to the glass and the purple stuff among it. My eyes were widened as I knelt down and saw not only the color of purple but an element of possibility. Or maybe I’m just being crazy.
It was time to go to bed as I cleaned up the whole place. I went into my old room and dozed off to sleep.
It was a Sunday morning and I’ve gone through the morning with my head down and my heart not feeling anything. I rested on my armchair thinking what happened on Friday and what could’ve been done to prevent this. Maybe my mission to Johannesburg would’ve been stopped by my parents if they were just as racist as most Americans.
I’ve had this plan the whole time I went through college thinking of what I should be, and I started dreaming of one day leading a revolt against white people for what they’ve done to Africans hundreds of years ago. And I thought what better way to do that than in Johannesburg. This is the most recent migration for them and I hope my message could spread easily.
The first person that seemed promising was Kevin, a suicidal IT technician that hoped for a better tomorrow, which was exactly what I’ve dreamt. I’ve only spent a little time with him until he invited me to dinner. The next day, he took me to see the theater. And for the next several months, we were inseparable, which made me even more excited to strike. And once I did it… everything just seemed to crash down. I looked grimmer at my goal and instead looked at the tips of my slippers.
During the work week, I stayed home completing all my projects. This high-end company wants me to create new advertisements for their products. There was a time when I came into the building and all these people were hustling and bustling in their sophisticated outfits and prim way of talking. Their English was well-developed and their work ethic was spot-on. The problem with them is that they’re all white.
I proceeded to ask the manager to let me stay home to work. He told me why and I told him that my boyfriend & I are moving into a new home. He believed me and gave me the week off. That was last Friday. You already know what happened next.
So during this whole week off, I stayed home with the curtains shut and all lights off working and pondering over the possibility of me turning myself in. During this period, I felt nothing but distress and anger towards myself.
On Monday, I progressed through my project. On Tuesday, I spent most of the time sulking. On Wednesday, I did do work in the morning but lost interest over time. And on Thursday, I almost made a police report about murder that occurred. On the phone, I said my name and my street address. And then I said that maybe it was just a false alarm and that those screams I heard was my imagination. The man yelled at me over the phone with his annoying accent and hung up.
On Friday, I sat on my armchair and dreamed what could’ve been if I hadn’t picked up the knife. Kevin would’ve sat next to me on the sofa by now. When I looked at it, I only saw dust particles swimming around the couch. I move back my head and sigh.
Around 20:03, I was fixing dinner and the outer edges of my eyes darkened again. I dropped my plate and placed my hands against my temples. I covered both my eyes with one of my hands and felt my forehead aching. That was when I heard the doorbell rang and all the pain stop instantly.
The dark edges still lingered as I walked towards the door and touched the doorknob. I turned it and opened the door. At our doorstep was Skaar, a young woman with long, blond, wavy hair with a reasonable amount covered most of her eyes as bangs. She had pale skin, a defined nose, and seemed to be wearing lip gloss. She wore a black camisole, white shorts, & black flip-flops.
I raised an eyebrow at her while she beamed at me with her hands on her hips. “Idora!” she squealed as she thrusted herself on me and wrapped her arms around me neck. Her immediate touch left me with a tingling sensation and in a paralyzed state. My hands were hovering over her back and couldn’t be moved.
Skaar released me and walked past me and into our house. She looked around and I walked around her to see her reaction. She was looking at the curtain and at the wooden dresser that was next to the stairs. I figured that she skipped the carpet stained with blood. I then watch her look at the stairs.
“Woah! What are those red stains?” she asked. I scratch my head and say that I spilled some wine.
“You have wine?” she asks. I nod.
“Go bring me some,” she says as she skips towards the couch and plops herself down. I raise an eyebrow at her and thought of a question to ask her.
“But why are you here anyway?” I asked.
“I wanted to see how Kevin was doing,” she said. Oh. I just remembered that she was Kevin’s former girlfriend. We would always meet at the weirdest places like the restrooms or at the club.
“Oh,” I say, “He’s fine.”
“Where is he?” she asks, “Is he upstairs?”
“No,” I say, “He went out somewhere.”
“Well that’s too bad,” she said as she spread her arms around the edge of the couch, “We would’ve had a nice conversation if he were here.” I smile sheepishly. If only.
“Hey, now that we’re all alone,” she said as she sat up, “How about we have a conversation and deepen our friendship.” I tilt my head and thought about the benefits of a possible friendship with this girl. She said she was involved in club business around Johannesburg. Maybe she could hook me up with sneaking inside the VIP area.
“Okay,” I say. Skaar claps her hands.
“Great,” she says, “But how about you go get us some wine so I could refresh my memory of our meeting.” I raise an eyebrow as I nod and get up from the armchair. I approached the refrigerator and touched the handle. I pull the door open and the bottle was sitting right there. I touched it and the edges of my eyes immediately darken and a sharp pain jabs through my head. I yelp and let go.
“What’s wrong?” I hear Skaar ask.
“Uh… nothing,” I say, “A spider was in the fridge.”
“Ooh,” she said, “It better not touch the wine.” Yeah, I thought.
I touched the bottle again and thought maybe this isn’t a good idea. I looked for through the whole fridge and spotted a carton of cranberry juice. I reached for it and poured glasses for each of us. I placed the carton back in the fridge and walked back to couch. I handed Skaar a glass and went back to the armchair.
“Um, this isn’t wine,” I heard her say as I sat down and tasted mine.
“I don’t think wine could heal your memory,” I say. Skaar pouted and set the glass on the table.
“So… where do we start?” I ask as I set down mine too.
“We should go back to the first time we met,” she said as she placed her hand on her chin. She looked up at the ceiling, seeming lost in thought.
“We were at the amusement park and I was getting out of the restroom. The first person I saw was you who seemed to look constipated.” I blush.
“Yeah,” I said, “You were in my way.” She chuckled.
“I greeted you and you just walked past me.”
“Yeah. Like I said.”
“And what’s next,” Skaar said, “We were at that restaurant and I was sitting at the table next to both of you.”
“Yeah,” I say, “When Kevin went to the bathroom, I thought I recognized you and decided to speak with you and apologize for my behavior… last time.”
“Thank you for that,” she said.
“And what’s weird was that you were wearing the same clothes that you’re wearing now.”
“Mm-hmm,” she said.
“And when I sat back down right as Kevin came back, I told him about you and he said “’what girl?’”
“Hm,” she said, “Maybe that’s his way of playing.”
“Yeah, he does joke around a lot.”
“Well, now that I’m here right now,” Skaar said, “Let’s see if we could take this friendship to a new level. How about you go to a social event with me next week?” I think about it for a moment. What would become of the body if I just left it there? Maybe I could have a little fun before I turn myself in.
“Um… sure,” I agreed.
“Awesome,” Skaar exclaimed as she drummed the table, “What I need now is a pen and paper to write down the address. Do you have them?”
“I think so,” I say as I got up and went to the drawer. There was some copy paper and a couple of pens inside. I picked up one of each and gave them to Skaar. She immediately scribbled down on her knee and handed the sheet and pen back to me.
“I have to go now,” she said as she headed towards the door, “I hope you’ll make it there. See you!” I heard her open the door and shut it as I stand there staring at the address, something I’ve never heard before. Dang Afrikaans.
During the following week, I came back to work and encountered many of the people I hated. The blond girl with the preppy outfit keeps complaining that her coffee was too cold again. The man in the cheap suit was trying too hard to be polite and open doors for people again. I felt so tempted to convince my boss for another week off again, but I knew he would say otherwise.
Along with work, I took the time to research this address and learn some new Afrikaans words. I learned the words for house, street, park, and woman. I even learned the words for ‘great time’.
Soon enough, it was Friday. I was wearing a jacket in this cold October evening walking through the street I was supposed to go. The only sounds I heard were my footsteps and the slight breeze pushing against my face.
When I arrived at the house, I checked out the rest of the area and immediately realized that this was the same area when Kevin and I played hopscotch. The cafe we used to go was right across from me. I slapped my forehead.
I faced the huge house and took in its rusty interior and haunting aura. For some reason, it pulled me in and I found myself inside, gazing at its vast emptiness. Nothing was really in here except the obvious sign someone placed there. Its illustration pointed forward, and I moved forward.
I walked towards a weird room filled with old books and a rusty desk. The only thing that really captivated me was the open vault letting out a dash of light. I peaked in and found ladders going down and the way to a possibly fun room. I positioned myself and climbed down until I touched the ground.
I released the ladder and searched the room for anyone I know of. No one was here, but I heard voices coming through the hallway in front of me. I figured this must be a starter room for guests. I walked towards the noise and entered this big room after several seconds.
I immediately felt a wave of energy from the load of guests that are also here tonight. They were wearing stunning gowns bejeweled with pearls and suits decorated with intricate ties. But the most interesting part was that they’re all black. I felt at ease with this crowd.
I was almost guilty for wearing such a casual outfit myself, but I proceeded to look for Skaar, which was at the front right corner of the room talking to someone else.
I walked over there and she immediately noticed, shooing away the man and he walked away. I stood in front of her and she patted me on the shoulder.
“Hallo,” I said.
“Hee-hee, Hallo,” Skaar greeted. I squirmed in my clothes.
“I’ll go get you a drink,” she said as she turned around and walked to the refreshments table. I saw that she was wearing a stunning long black dress reaching her shoes held together by two skinny straps around her shoulders. She came back with a tall glass of champagne and I accepted it.
“Goeie tyd?” I asked, feeling self-conscious.
“You bet,” she said as she took a sip of her drink.
“Hey, what is this place? Where did you find it?” I asked, “And is it safe to be here?” Skaar cleared her throat.
“It’s completely abandoned,” she said, “No one’s going to punish us. We can use it however we like.” I raise an eyebrow.
“I meant this underground tunnel,” I said.
“This whole juncture belonged to a millionaire long ago,” Skaar said, “It is said that he built this tunnel to hold auctions for local artists’ work he stole.”
“Woah,” I reacted. I remember reading that somewhere while working.
“It’s a good thing he got caught,” I said. “Or else, I’ll be mad.”
“I know,” she said as she touched my arm. That same shock traveled through my bones and I sheepishly smile. She smiled back as she rubbed her hand along my forearm. Throughout that night, I mingled with the other guests, including this interesting girl named Lola. She was wearing a pink dress and said that she’s skilled in using guns. I believed that judging by he long, muscular arms. Skaar said we will do this again the day after tomorrow. And on that day, I decided to wear a long skirt this time and I talked to even more people. My mood for the fast few days has changed more calmingly.
Skaar’s behavior towards me also changed as we become closer. Our bond must be more stable than anyone else’s here. Even though her mannerisms towards me suggested too much, I still believed she was well-intentioned.
But this still doesn’t change the fact of the possibility of me going to the slammer. I can’t keep this up forever, and I figured just one more outing would get me to do it.
Next Friday, I went in my jacket again because Skaar mentioned that we won’t be having a party today. I didn’t mind this. I stuffed my hands in the jacket pockets while also feeling a bit of weight inside my stomach. I sighed as I felt nauseous and forgot about that thought instantly.
I approached the abandoned building again as someone passed me, their eyebrows raising at my presence. I looked back as they walked away, feeling a flickering sensation against my head. I shook it off and walked up the stairs and into the dark living room. The light from the tunnel is there as always and I climbed down. I reached the ground and walked towards the big room and I found Skaar on a stage fiddling with a microphone. I shouted at her and she looked up with a smile.
“What’s all this?” I asked.
“This is just a set-up for the meeting we’re about to have,” she answered, “It’s a check-in on all the activities we did this month.”
“Cool,” I said as I gazed at the stage to towards the door next to it.
“They’re right in there,” Skaar said, seemingly reading my mind as she pulled up a walkie-talkie from the chair next to her.
“Thanks,” I said as I walked towards the door. I thought about that moment when Skaar immediately picked up that device, like she knew I was coming. Maybe she wanted to inform the others that I’m here.
I open the door and proceeded to explore this new room that was structered differently. I saw the guys who were at the parties setting up chairs. I raise an eyebrow and asked them what they’re doing.
“We’re playing a boardgame,” one of the men said, “Wanna play?”
“Sure!” I said enthusiastically as one of the men approached me with the game of Life box in his arms. I looked over my shoulder at the tiny table that happened to be in front of another guy. One of them sat a chair across from the table and motioned for me to sit down. I did that and now found myself in front of the sitting guy. His eyes were half closed as he seemed cozy in his sweatshirt.
I took off the lid and began playing. After we grabbed our pieces and cards, I received moments regarding friends, family, education, career, love life, getting married, having kids, making, mistakes, and fixing them. Then I figured this was one complex game of life. I looked at my fellow player who was already snoring with his head drooping to the side in his hood.
I dropped the piece I had in my hand and turned around. All the people were gone, and there was another hallway seeming to lead to something. I scooted back my chair and stood up to take a better look. Then, I looked at my sleeping friend and quietly said ‘see ya’.
I walked through this hallways and turned corners until I approached even bigger hallways. I remembered was Skaar told me about this auction area. Why were there so many hallways if people were here to make purchases? I sighed and continued getting lost in this juncture.
It wasn’t until I discovered an ajar door in the latest hallway I gone in. This door was blue and stood out from the rainbow specked walls. I approached it and open it some more. My mouth dropped open at all the AK-47s that were lined neatly along the walls. I gazed at all of them and didn’t even notice the tiny table in front of me. I mindlessly kept walking towards it until I felt the smooth edge of it on my thighs.
I looked down and noticed an open notebook containing words in Afrikaans. Ugh. And it wasn’t only that. There was a sharp silver dagger decorated with a blue handle lying next to it. Ugh!
I moved my head down to take a closer look. It appeared to be addresses scattered along the two pages. I shook my head in frustration and tried my hardest to read it closely. It was then that I noticed one address that had a particular name attached to it. Sherman Schneider. Sherman Schneider? Sherman. Schneider. Sherman, as in the one that came to my house one fine but awful morning with a package to give me which happened to be wearing a name tag on his shirt. That Sherman Schneider?
I felt my heart regurgitate in itself as I stepped back and shivered all over my body. I checked my surroundings and stepped towards the notebook again. I flipped back a page and noticed another sentence in Afrikaans. It was only that this time, it was a phrase I knew very well, ‘die wit plan’, as in the plan to kill all white people.
I felt vomit rising towards my esophagus. I held my mouth shut with my hand. I looked at the sharp blade again and picked it up. I stored it in my inside jacket pocket and left the room. I walked faster before I convinced myself to quicken the pace and then run because of the thought that somebody might get me for my crimes. But this reaction towards this possibility also convinced me that I was weak.
I came back to the board game room where the board game was, but there was no sleeping guy. I released my to reveal my agape mouth and looked around the room for him. When I saw that no one else was here, I ran to the exit and pushed the door again. I closed it with my back weight and jogged to the front of the stage. Skaar seemed to still be setting up as she was fiddling with the wires. How long was I playing that game for?
“Skaar!” I shouted. She smiled without looking at me.
“Yes?” she answered, “Did you have a fun time?”
“Um… yeah,” I said as I dropped myself towards the floor. The sudden movement made the dagger inside my jacket jerk up, puncturing my breast. I made no noise. I kept my focus towards Skaar and her behavior.
“Hey, Skaar,” I called, “Where did the others go?”
“What do you think?” she asked. I raise an eyebrow.
“Well, I thought they maybe went to work on some things like set up stuff?” Skaar stayed silent for a moment.
“Try again,” she said. My eyes widened at her and I desperately tried to think of something else.
“Um,” I gulped, “What are you talking about?” My legs were sprawled in front of me with one of my feet shaking.
“I’m talking about the room you encountered,” she said as she finally looked at me with beady eyes. They took me aback.
“The room? What room?” I said as I watch her look at me maniacally.
“The room where all the guns and all the glorious plans we come up with are held,” she said as she steps down from the stage and walk towards me. She eyed me with a look of dangerous intent. I slide myself back.
“I-I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s okay,” she said as she towered over me and placed her finger under my chin, bringing my head up to look at her, “You don’t have to be afraid of anything at this point. I’m about to tell you a secret.”
“A secret?” I said.
“Yes,” she answered as she let go of my chin, “And it all started when you killed that handsome devil of yours.” My eyes widened at the nickname she gave Kevin. The image of his body flashed through my mind and I looked at Skaar. She smiled at me with a mischievous look in her eyes.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Because I lived through it,” she said as she stepped back.
“What? What are you talking about?!” I yelled. My hands were frozen out of panic.
“When you slain his body, you unleashed me to control your destiny for you. You woke up the next morning and I started the trial, sending you that lava lamp. After that, it took me about a week to set everything up. Then, I came to you and convinced you to work with me. Now, it’s about to happen.”
“What?!” I shouted in a lighter tone. Blood was rushing to my face. “What do you mean by all this?”
“I mean that I am you. I was always a part of you, and I was just leading you to what you’re supposed to be. Me.”
“What?!” I yelled once more as I stare into Skaar’s eyes. Then, it hit me. From my viewpoint, Skaar has already brushed away her bangs, revealing eyes that were almost identical to mine. And from the nose to the lips, they look identical too as well as the bone structure. And from what I’ve gathered, her whole face and body do look similar to mine according to the last time I checked through the mirror. I shake my head as I look down at her body.
“Now,” Skaar said, “Are you going to accept your fate and continue this mission?” She held her hand out to me.
“No,” I said. Skaar frowned and stretched her hand further.
“I think you’re joking. You’ve come this far,” she said.
“No,” I said again. I looked at her like I meant it.
“I’m not doing this.”
Skaar’s expression immediately darkened. “But Idora, what else would you be if you don’t accept to be me.”
“I-I don’t know yet,” I said, “I was thinking maybe I should go back to the-”
“Nonsense!” Skaar shouted as she grabbed my neck. Her face grew a long snout of a crocodile with long rows of teeth. She opened and snapped it shut at me. I shiver. I’ve always hated crocodiles. Maybe she was telling the truth.
“Is that really the life you want?” she asked in a husky tone, “A prisoner.”
“Yes,” I said, “I mean, that’s the rightful route I should go after everything.” My thoughts flash to Kevin’s sentient time and how righteous he was.
“No Idora. Not while I’m here,” Skaar said as she squeezed me neck. The pain of only having half of my air left me feeling dizzy.
“You summoned me, Idora,” she said, “And now you must go through what you’ve started.”
“B-but it was a mistake,” I spoke.
“Mistakes will be fixed if you do this,” she said.
“Mistakes will be fixed if I turn myself in,” I said.
“Ah!” Skaar cried out in frustration. She squeezed my neck even more.
“Never underestimate my power that controls you,” she said.
“But… but what about the freedom & choices that where I’m from encourages me to live by?” I ask before my eyelids close.
“What… freedom?” she said as she tilted her head and everything goes into a blur.
From what I’ve gathered, I eventually walk with the rest of our group and hear to sermon from Skaar. We then travel our of the tunnels and out into the park where the others, or should I say vigilantes, brought their guns and I walk with them to a car and I’m the one driving. I turned the keys and stepped on it, not remembering much of the journey, but I did remember this house we arrived at. That was when the fogginess cleared up.
I found myself resting my head against the wheel, being careful not to honk. I slowly raised my head up to all my surroundings. The car was in top shape and it appeared to be parked in front of this white & blue bungalow. I also noticed the steel mailbox at the front with a particular name written on it, Sherman. I stretch myself and look at the stick-shift. The dagger was right next to it!
I opened my mouth in surprise and grabbed it. I inspected it and looked through the windows of the house. I appeared that the vigilantes were blocking what was going on in there. I immediately undo my seatbelt and step out. I carefully close the door and ran to the back door of the house. I turned the knob and discovered it was unlocked. My heart beats with excitement as I push open the door, being wary of the squeaks it made.
I crouched down and quietly crawled through the kitchen with the dagger in my back pocket. I crawled until I made it to the kitchen table and peaked at what was going on in the living room. Skaar was in a leather outfit with her hair up, and the vigilantes wore crop tops and cargo pants. I looked closely at them and counted how many of them were present. I counted four and remembered there being much more at the meetings. Did the others choose to stay, or did they hunt down other houses? My heart beat faster and I came to the conclusion that I must focus on the person who matters most.
“I love this part of the job,” she said, “Torturing them for what they’ve done to you!” She turned around towards the vigilantes whom all reacted to what she said. I wince at the familiarity of my mindset back then. Even when I don’t think like that now, it causes me pain. This pain was eased when I rushed towards the room and blocked the way with my knife pointing at them.
“You!” Skaar said in surprise. Her eyes widened, and the vigilantes seemed to be taken aback.
“Don’t do this,” I said.
“Please,” she said, “We didn’t even reach him yet. He’s probably still asleep.”
“You will not kill him in his sleep,” I said in a threatening tone. Skaar stared intently at my mood change. She then knocked air at my face and twirled herself to do a swift kick against my legs, sending me in the air and onto the ground. I looked at my hands to see no dagger. I looked up and saw Skaar pointing her gun and the dagger at me. I broke into a cold sweat seconds after as I held my mouth agape at the ferocity of this situation. But then, I remembered what she said before. If she is part of me, do I know how to do this trick too? Of course I do. I took lessons at the gym many years ago!
“I got this, guys,” she said to the vigilantes. She then looked down at me.
“Quit acting so weak and start being direct on what will happen to you,” she ordered. I hardened my face and slowly got up to my feet.
“You will not tell me what to do,” I said. That was when I punched her jaw. Both weapons dropped to the floor and I immediately picked them up. That was when the vigilantes raised their weapons and shot at me. I froze as time seemed to slow down and I was focusing on the bullets. I expected the best & the worst since I’ll be getting what I deserved, but when I realized what was happening before me, I became aware of what was really going on.
The bullets ran right past me. They never hit me nor caused me pain. They weren’t even hitting the decor of the living room. My eyes widened at the vigilantes. Skaar shouted at them to stop. They did stop and lowered their weapons. My heart beat faster than before and I turned to Skaar who was looking at me angrily. Her jaw was bruised.
“What is all this?” I asked, “You mean to tell me this is all a figment of my imagination?”
“I did say this was a trial?” she said mischievously. I felt fire inside me as I blasted the pistol at her head and stuck the dagger deep into her neck. I stepped back to view the reaction which left me in disappointment when Skaar chuckled. Blood trickled down her face and neck as she floated into the air. As she was floating, my vision darkened until she floated high as the ceiling and she was the only thing visible. Everything else around us was black.
“Take a good look, Idora,” Skaar said as she flashed a toothy smile, “All of this happened because of your actions.”
“But I want to fix them,” I said, “If you could just let me go, I’ll turn myself in. I’ll take that car and drive to the police station. I’ll tell them where the body is and then I’ll be arrested. Kevin would be so pleased if I did this.”
“Speaking of that,” Skaar said, “I’d like to introduce you to someone.” I looked to the left of her at a being that formed among the shadows. His body was dressed in black, and his eyes were completely black. They secrete a black liquid in the form of tears.
“Kevin!” I shouted.
“Idora!” he called in a ghastly voice, “Why did you do this to me?”
“I was sick in the head!” I shouted, “I immediately realized that what I did was wrong, but now that I see you again, I promise that it’ll never happen again and I’ll live the right way, just like you said!”
“But Idora,” he said, “If you carry out this mission with Skaar, you will be living the right way.”
“No!” I yelled, “You always said that righteousness was your value. It’s mine too, and I know that this isn’t right, especially you. You would never say stuff like that. I knew this was fake.”
“Your willpower is weak,” Skaar taunted, “You really think you have the guts to do what you just said. You won’t last a day in prison.”
“If this is what I value, I’ll manage,” I said, “If I don’t, I’ll I force myself, because there’s a new person I have to worry about now. Starting now, I’ll do all the things I mentioned, with one swift punch.”
After that, I forced a fist onto my forehead. A while later, I felt hands on my shoulders. I hear a man’s voice calling my name. I jolted myself awake as Sherman was shaking me with fear in his eyes.
“Idora!” he called, “What happened?”
“Sherman,” I said, “Take me to the hospital.”
At the police station, I told them about the body and where to find it. Afterwards, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and was sent to a mental institution. I was wary about what would become of me, but I felt proud of myself now that I have the resources to get through this.
On a Wednesday morning, I got word from Sherman that he hopes to see me again. I hope to see him too while I lay here on my bed as the nurse fixes me a cup of water and a couple of pills to take.
“Have you come up with a name yet?” she asked as she handed me the cup.
“A name is too early,” I said as I rub my stomach, “But I do hope that they won’t make the same mistakes I made. Never.